Australian Educator Sparks Online Debate Over Asking Babies for ‘Consent’ Before Diaper Changes

An Australian sexuality educator has sparked widespread debate online by suggesting that parents ask babies for permission before changing their diapers.

Deanne Carson, who describes herself on Twitter as a “sexuality educator, speaker, and author,” says that a “culture of consent” should begin at birth. While critics see the idea as impractical, Carson emphasizes that the practice is less about expecting a verbal “yes” and more about introducing respect for a child’s body and autonomy.

Her approach involves narrating actions—saying, for example, “I’m going to change your diaper now, is that okay?”—and pausing to observe the baby’s non-verbal cues, such as eye contact or body language. Carson argues that this helps establish early communication and builds trust, even if infants cannot respond verbally.

“Of course, a baby is not going to respond, ‘yes mum, that is awesome, I’d love to have my nappy changed,’” Carson told ABC Australia. “But if you leave a space and watch body language, you are letting that child know that their response matters.”

Pediatricians agree that responding to non-verbal cues like coos, giggles, and movements supports healthy communication, and Carson frames her method as an extension of that principle.

Critics Slam Idea as Impractical

Not everyone agrees. Rowan Dean, editor of The Spectator Australia, called it “lefty lunacy,” while parenting expert John Rosemond labeled it “the most bizarre idea of all time,” arguing that it could foster confusion and mistrust rather than respect.

On social media, many users mocked the suggestion:

• “Pretty sure when a baby is crying due to the discomfort of a full diaper…that’s consent. In fact, I would go further and call it a demand.”
• “Do you need to get consent from your cat to change its litter tray? No. If it stinks, change it. Same with a baby.”
• Others criticized the approach as dangerous, pointing out that leaving a child in a soiled diaper can legally be considered abuse.

The debate highlights a growing conversation about how far principles of consent should be applied in parenting, with some advocating early lessons in autonomy, while others dismiss it as unrealistic or potentially harmful.

In the middle of the controversy, Carson maintains that her method is about introducing respect and communication early, not delaying necessary care—a nuance many critics argue is lost in the online firestorm.